I'd Lie
by jewelsbyers
Summary: Victoria has always been in love with her childhood friend James. With graduation approaching, all she has to do is tell him... or not. Rated for language, sexual references and illegal substance abuse by one character. AU/AH.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **__Yes, another story, but this one is different. I finished this one a while ago and have been meaning to publish it for a while. Each chapter is done to a verse of Taylor Swift's _I'd Lie _and is told from Victoria's POV. For updates, I will be updating once a week depending on how many reviews I get for each chapter. So, if I get one review tonight, I will put up one chapter next Monday; if I get two reviews tonight, I will put up two chapters on Monday etc. Now, sit back, relax and have a read. Hopefully you won't be disappointed!_

**Chapter One**

_~ I don't think that passenger seat_

_Has ever looked this good to me_

_He tells me about his night_

_And I count the colours in his eyes ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

"...Bella was full on crying, and Bella just doesn't cry, ya know, V? She always keeps her feelings inside and dad was yelling and mum was threatening to leave... fuck! I just wish they'd divorce already! I know that sounds like an awful thing to say but their plan of 'let's give it a year or so more' just isn't working and..."

I let James rant, knowing he needed an outlet for all the anger and frustration that was the by-product of living with Charlie and Renee Swan. Charlie and Renee Swan had got married straight out of college and had James the year later. Renee always liked to tell James that he was 'quite a surprise' and she never said it in a nice way, translation: My nineteen year old husband knocked me up when I was eighteen and I forgot to get an abortion.

I was glad that Renee hadn't got an abortion; otherwise I wouldn't have had my best friend sitting next to me right now in my car. _My _car.

It had been a very unexpected eighteenth birthday present. My parents had gone to work early, as they always did, and had left a note on the table saying _'Happy Birthday Victoria, your present is outside. Love mum and dad' _on top of the note had been a car key. Totally unable to believe it I'd grabbed the key and dashed outside to find a beautiful, dark blue Mercedes sitting there waiting for me.

Somehow, I'd managed to stuff down some breakfast before packing my bag, putting my key on my keyring and driving to James' house and bounding up to the door to his house; just in time to hear his mother screaming at his dad. He'd come out with a hand on Bella's shoulder and stared at the car and I'd felt like a moron for bringing it. In his hands had been a very small silver wrapped parcel.

"Um, do you mind, giving Bells a ride too?" he'd asked and I'd nodded wordlessly, my face flushing with embarrassment at bringing the stupid thing. Bella had climbed in the back and I'd driven her and her brother to school in silence.

After school, Bella had gone to see her boyfriend Edward - who James hated and Edward's feelings were mutual - and I'd driven James to my house. He'd said he wasn't ready to go home yet and he'd given me the present I'd seen him carrying that morning. It had been a silver necklace with a 'V' dangling from the end. I'd smiled and he'd smiled back.

That had been two weeks ago and, from the way James was talking now, it appeared as if the situation with his parents hadn't got any better.

He turned to face me when we stopped from the only red light in Forks and he said, "Bella walked to school this morning, or, she _said _she walked to school this morning. I saw that possessive prick Edward Cullen sitting around the corner in his fucking Volvo waiting to pick her up."

I clucked my tongue in sympathy. Edward Cullen had not been a good choice for Bella to make out of the two men who had been vying for her affections. Edward Cullen was rich and fairly good looking and his father was a well known doctor; but he was also possessive, hypocritical and wouldn't let Bella see her long time friend from the Quileute reservation - and his only competition for Bella's affections - Jacob Black. Jacob was the complete opposite to Edward with copper skin and long, silky black hair. He lived quite modestly with his father Billy as his mother had died in a car accident when he was younger and his two older sisters had moved out of home a few years ago. Jacob was Bella's best friend, he'd helped her get through depression last year when her mum left for a while and Edward had broken up with her to move with his family to L.A. for Carlisle's job. Jacob had even pulled Bella out of the Pacific Ocean when she'd attempted suicide by jumping off a cliff! She'd been in hospital for two days and, at the end of that two days, Edward Cullen had come bursting in demanding that his father give her a thorough check up because he didn't trust any of the 'cheap shit' doctors that 'you lot could afford considering that I doubt you have health insurance or anything of the sort'. James, Jacob and Charlie had all been there and Charlie'd had to pull James and Jacob off Edward when they'd both attacked him. All three brawlers had been thrown out of the hospital until they calmed down and then Charlie had gone out to inform them that if they couldn't get along they'd have to learn to like each other in the holding cells at the police station for a night.

Needless to say, the Cullens had returned and Bella, the stupid girl, had gone running straight back into Edward's arms.

"She's just so stupid, Jacob called the other day when Edward was around and the arrogant bastard answered the phone and said that Bella was busy and hung up! Edward Cullen hung up on Jacob in _my _house on _my _phone and Bella didn't even _do _anything about it!"

The light turned green and I reluctantly looked away from James' face and continued towards school. I could die happy looking into James' eyes, usually they're a beautiful, light blue, but, during the course of a day, they can change so many times. Stormy grey when he's angry, a darker blue when he's thinking, a glittering crystal when he's happy... I could so easily get lost in James' eyes.

I was ashamed to admit it, but I'd known James Swan for sixteen years and had not once even hinted that I loved him... but I did.

_**A/N: **__Well, how many chapters do you want next? Remember, updates are being done on a review basis because this baby is already finished. So, if you want to read the next chapter, leave a review._


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__Sorry it's out a little later than planned, I had unforseen computer hiccups. Here is the second chapter of I'd Lie. I got two reviews for this story, so I will also be posting chapter three, if you want chapter four next Monday then review, the more reviews I get, the most chapters I post._

**Chapter Two**

_~ He'll never fall in love he swears_

_As he runs his fingers through his hair_

_I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong_

_And I don't think it's ever crossed his mind_

_He tells a joke I fake a smile_

_But I know all his favourite songs ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

Five minutes before we got to school James stopped ranting about Bella and his parents and said to me with a grin "I don't think I'm ever going to fall in love with anyone, Victoria"

"Why?" I asked, trying to ignore the sensation like I'd been punched in the gut and James laughed "Because it causes too many mistakes. I mean, look at Charlie and Renee! They swore they were in love right after high school, eloped in Vegas and Renee got knocked up to prove it. Nah, I'll just be one of those bastards who has a good fuck and then goes on his way"

"James" I said reprovingly, trying to banish the very appealing fantasy of being 'fucked' by him "You shouldn't joke about that, it's not fun having your heart broken by someone who's simply looking to get in your pants. Look at Garrett Ayers and Laurent"

Garrett Ayers had moved to Forks from Canada with his widowed father two years ago and had been instantly smitten with the vivacious Kate Denali. No one had seen fit to warn the adventurous Canadian new comer that the Denali sisters - Tanya and Irina had left the previous year - were trouble and should be left alone.

Kate had strung Garrett along for all of junior year before her dirty little scandals with the majority of the boys who didn't know Garrett had come out. Garrett had been absolutely heartbroken and his father, furious that nothing had been done to stop the destructive relationship when the school _knew _of the Denali sisters reputations, had moved with him back to Canada.

Laurent was an old friend of mine who'd been idiotic enough to fall in love with Irina Denali - Kate's older sister and Tanya's twin - and, unsurprisingly, she'd strung him along as well. He'd broken up with her when he'd found out, however he'd recently confessed to me that he still loved her. I'd told him to get the hell over her; she and her slutty sisters were bad news.

However, I had to admit, Laurent was fairly bad news too. He'd finished school with fairly average marks, nothing flash, and had then proceeded to attend community college, drop out after six months and become a drifter. I'd met him when I was a junior and he a senior, when he was still going out with Irina Denali. He'd been doing a bit of manual labour for my father's business - my dad owned several companies that drove trucks full of supplies up and down the states - and he'd seen me a few times at school and when I popped in to see my father at work. He'd introduced himself to me and a firm but rather odd friendship had developed.

Laurent survived by odd jobs and spent the night in hostels or cheap hotels; he was also a marijuana addict. He'd been an addict, he told me, since his Freshman year of high school but where he got the pot in a place like Forks without somebody finding out was a mystery to me. James had offered to tell Charlie, who was the chief of police, that Laurent was addicted to an illicit substance but I'd told him to keep his nose out of it. Laurent would be on pot until the day it killed him and I'd long accepted that; I did, however, have rules when it came to him and pot. When he was around at my house, as he was occasionally, he was not to smoke anywhere on the premises, my parents would go through the roof if they thought I or any of my friends had so much as been near a joint of the stuff, and he wasn't allowed to smoke in front of my friends - except James. The only reason he was allowed to smoke in front of James was because James had seen Laurent standing outside my house smoking one time and had asked him what the hell he was doing and Laurent, the stupid pothead, had said that I wouldn't let him smoke his joint in my house and James had come in and said to me "There's a guy standing at your front door smoking a fucking joint!"

Laurent, who was a fairly easy going guy even without the weed, tolerated James as James had been my best friend since I was a baby, but James made no secret of his dislike of my homeless, drifting friend with dreadlocks and a marijuana addiction.

"Yeah, well, I'm not gonna pretend that I felt sorry for Laurent when Irina Denali dumped him and Garrett Ayers had it coming for him, he wanted an adventure and I bet he got one rolling around in the sheets with Kate Denali"

I sighed and said "So, you basically want to be a guy who gets in woman's pants and then leaves them broken hearted and gets talked about for the next ten years?" I teased and he nodded, running his fingers through his scraggly blonde ponytail "Yep, that's the plan Vicki"

I made a face "Don't call me Vicki"

"Even if I get in your pants one day?"

I gave him a look and he said "Better keep your eyes on the road or I'll report you to the chief of police"

I shook my head at my old friend, managing to force a smile at his joke and his declaration that he was going to become a sleaze, and turned my head back to the road. James turned up the radio in my car as a _Linkin Park _song came over the speakers. It was one of their older numbers, the kind with lots of screamo and James commented that the new vocalist had really changed the sound of _Linkin Park_'s music and, he hinted, it was not necessarily for the better.

I, personally, didn't like _Linkin Park _all that much, but James did, so I endured them for James. Last year for his birthday I had brought him their new album _Minutes to Midnight_ and he'd goggled at me and said 'How the hell do you know I like _Linkin Park_?'

Sitting in my luxury car listening to James quietly sing along to the screamo lyrics I sighed softly to myself. James, haven't you realised yet, I know _everything _about you.

_**A/N: **__Just because chapter three is out already doesn't mean you shouldn't review. Did you like this chapter? Did you hate this chapter? Tell all in a review! _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_~ And I could tell you_

_His favourite colour's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful_

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I loved him_

_I'd lie ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

James had work after school that day and, seeing as it was so close to school, he declined a lift and said he'd walk. Secretly, it suited me because Laurent had called yesterday and asked if we could meet up at _Forks Diner _for a coffee. I didn't want to tell James because he would insist on escorting me; he didn't trust Laurent one inch.

I pulled up in the parking lot of _Forks Diner _and saw Laurent standing outside with his perpetual joint in hand. He grinned lazily and waved to me as I pulled up.

"Nice car" he commented as I got out "Mummy and daddy get you a birthday present?"

"Shut up you pot smoking jackass" I laughed and then I gave him a quick hug and we stood outside while he finished his joint.

"How was school?" Laurent asked me as we went inside the warmth of the diner and I shrugged "Probably not that much different to when you were there, same teachers, same subjects same relief when it's Friday and horror when it's Monday"

He chuckled as we took a booth and the waitress came over and we both ordered a coffee and I also had a sandwich because I hadn't eaten since lunchtime. I asked Laurent if he wanted anything, God knew he didn't eat as often as he should, and he said that he was fine.

"You're too thin" I told my friend severely as the waitress walked away and he shrugged, not appearing too concerned.

"Go on, order yourself a decent meal, you know I'll pay for you" I begged him but Laurent shook his head and I swore "Damn you and your male pride, Laurent"

"I have money, I could buy myself a decent meal if I wanted it" he told me and I snorted and said in a low voice so no one else could hear "You have no money, I know you've been sleeping rough this last week, has the price of pot gone up, Laurent?"

"Never you mind about my expensive habits, dear girl" he told me "I can deal with it myself"

"Maybe I _should _report you to chief Swan" I muttered darkly "_Then _you'd get clean"

"I'd also get in the slammer and that is not a place I want to end up" he told me and I sighed and Laurent knew he'd won. No matter how much I hated his addiction and the fact that he was homeless and didn't eat enough, I couldn't bring myself to report him. I'd long vowed that I would never give his name to the police unless he didn't somethings stupid to get money of if he ended up in hospital and refused to go clean.

The coffees and my sandwich arrived and I took a long sip of the hot drink, luxuriating in it. Ah, there was nothing like a coffee in the afternoon to motivate you for the rest of the day.

"So" Laurent said, after taking a long swig of his coffee "Have you asked your blonde friend from your baby days on a date yet?"

I nearly choked and the coffee suddenly tasted bitter. I swallowed with some difficulty and said "That's none of your business"

"Is that a no?"

"Get out of it, Laurent"

"Because, seriously, I think it's about time you and him got together"

"James doesn't feel that way, about me" I forced out with some difficulty and Laurent rolled his eyes "How do you know that?"

"I've known him all my life, Laurent" I said "I know everything about him. He's so forward and open and honest..." I sighed and then said "If he loved me he'd tell me and..."

"Vic" Laurent cut me off, looking very serious; even though I knew his brain would probably be somewhat fuddled with weed. Maybe that was why he'd asked the question about James in the first place, he usually only asked about me and James when he'd been smoking, perhaps marijuana - like alcohol - made you lose your inhibitions somewhat. "You know everything about this guy except what he looks like naked"

I blushed the same shade as my hair and glared at my friend but he went on unfazed "You probably know his favourite colour, what tests he's passed and failed, if he has an argumentative disposition or not, like any good friend you know his birthday, however there are not many friends that buy expensive presents and give a card with a fifty dollar note tucked in it and endure a night full of _Linkin Park _music and action movies" I blushed again. Laurent knew what I did for James' birthday because he was the only person patient enough to come shopping with me when I went to by James' presents. Laurent might be a homeless pothead, but it was nice to have a guy's opinion on what to buy another guy.

"You could tell me if he's got Charlie's or Renee's eyes and you deny that you're in love with him"

"I'm just a very attentive friend" I told Laurent, taking another sip of my now strangely tasteless coffee.

"You're an idiotic little girl who drives her future soul mate to school every morning and won't tell him you're in love with him"

"I'm not in love with him! Please drop it now Laurent"

Laurent shrugged but let it go and I took a bite out of my sandwich. If it was so obvious to Laurent, who didn't go to school, didn't see James and I together very often, and smoked pot every day, why couldn't it be obvious to James? Why couldn't my best friend see that I was head over heels for him?


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: **__Alright readers, here is chapter four. The other chapters I owe you will be up shortly, but I realised when I was proof reading that I'd left out a very major part of chapter six, so I need to do an edit, but, never fear, the chapter I owe you will be up today. Now, read and review._

**Chapter Four**

_~ He looks around the room_

_Innocently over looks the truth_

_Shouldn't a light go on_

_Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long_

_And he sees everything black and white_

_Never let nobody seen him cry_

_I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

Friday after school James asked to come to my place. Some people might consider it bad manners to invite yourself over to somebody's house but, with James, I knew that it was because of his crazy parents at home.

We were lying on our stomachs on the floor of my living room with all our English homework spread out around us. In theory, we were doing our homework, in practice James was ranting about Edward Cullen and I was lending a sympathetic ear.

"He didn't even knock when he came in last time!" James said, looking livid. "He just waltzed right on in like he owned the place and I said to him 'Bella's not here' and he said 'That's OK, I'll wait' and walked into the living room and sat his pompous ass down on the sofa!"

"Did you tell him to leave?" I asked and James nodded vigorously "Yes! And he just looked at me with this smug smile and said, 'Do you think you could tell Mr. and Mrs. Swan to keep it down?'"

Alright, Edward Cullen might be many things and, even if he wasn't good for Bella, he was still supposed to be her boyfriend and he would know that Charlie and Renee were always fighting. James looked around and then let his breath out and then said "I all but threw the prick out! Bella was shitty with me all day and then Dr. Cullen came over and asked, really politely, why I'd thrown his son out. I told him and he said he'd speak to Edward. Edward and Dr. Cullen came back over within the hour because Edward had rattled off some bullshit story about me being an ass to him for no apparent reason and..."

James stopped and gave me a sympathetic smile "Sorry, you don't need to listen to me ranting. I'll shut up for a while now"

"No, James, I don't mind" I told him and I meant it "If you need to get this stuff off your chest then, well, go for it. I'm always here" I reached out to touch his hand. "You know that"

He laughed suddenly "Yeah, I know that. Boy oh boy, Victoria! I'm glad you were born a woman, if you were a guy I would never be able to rattle all this shit off to you!"

I laughed, leaving my hand on his for longer than necessary and saying, "James, I'd be worried if you _stopped_ telling me everything in your life."

He grinned stupidly and said, "Yeah, I'd be worried if you _stopped_ listening."

I laughed and felt James move his hand out from under mine. My heart sank; he hadn't seen my gesture for what it was. He still saw me as a friend, a friend who would sit around and listen to all his life's trials with a sympathetic ear.

"Victoria, I've had, um, something I want to discuss with you for a while" he said to me, drawing me back from my painful reverie and I blinked at him and he said, "I know that I'm not your father, or your brother or anything like that; but, as a concerned friend whose known you since birth, I would like to ask you why you still hang out with Laurent? He's bad news!"

I sighed. We had this conversation at least once a week. James thought that, because Laurent was homeless, jobless, had a limited education and smoked dope that he was a bad person. I'd tried to point out to James that Laurent was a nice person whose fatal flaw was that he was only motivated for the short term and couldn't see past tomorrow. James didn't listen; he believed that, if a person did bad things, such as become addicted to marijuana, they must be a bad person.

"James" I said to him "Laurent just lacks motivation. Now, I agree that his habits aren't all that savoury but not every homeless person is bad and not every marijuana addict is trying to escape from life. Laurent will be on pot until it kills him, I know that and..."

"He smokes _in front of you_" James said "Imagine what his smoke is doing to your lungs!"

I sighed. The risk of lung cancer was not something I could do very much about if I wanted to stay friends with Laurent. Of course I knew that being around my pot smoking friend increased the risks of respiratory diseases from breathing in second hand smoke but, when I weighed up the risks of respiratory diseases compared to the value of my friendship with Laurent, I'd decided that the former was not worth giving up the latter.

Despite his habit, Laurent had an amazing way with words. If he could just go to university then he could very well become a lawyer to be feared! I'd told him this numerous times and he'd just laughed and said that the court system didn't tend to like lawyers who smoked weed.

"James, if I was worried about my lungs I wouldn't be friends with Laurent. I know that you're worried about me, and thank you, it means a lot," if only he knew how much, "But I value Laurent's friendship almost as much as I value yours. If you went out to a party, took a rec drug and eventually became addicted to them I wouldn't think any less of you, so please stop ragging off on Laurent, if you could just look past the pot and the homelessness then I think you'd really like him."

James shuddered, whether it was in reaction to the idea that he could like Laurent or the example I'd used of him becoming addicted to recreational drugs I didn't know.

"I know that he's your friend and all and I know that you really want to help him out of this predicament, but, Victoria, sometimes I worry that he uses you like a crutch. I know that he sleeps here sometimes and I know that you two went out for coffee yesterday and you would have paid..."

"Actually," I cut James off, "Laurent paid, he insisted. I wanted to but he wouldn't let me, he says that a gentleman always pays for a lady"

James continued unabashed, "Alright, so he paid, where's he going to get his next supply of dope from? Before you know it, Victoria, he'll be stealing cash and he'll in end up in front of a court and get thrown in the slammer just like mum when..."

James stopped and went white and I stared and managed to choke "Renee... was in... jail?"

"A few years ago, she, she..." James stopped and I could see tears building in his eyes. He wouldn't cry, James _never_ cried, even in front of anybody, because he was so used to being strong for Bella. He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and said "Um, I should, should be, um, be getting home. Bella will be, she'll, she'll be home soon"

"OK" I said. I wanted to reach out to him, hold him, tell him that it was alright and that he could cry on my shoulder whenever he needed to. But I didn't, I couldn't and James left with a strangled, "Bye, Victoria."

I almost ran out after him and, an hour later and feeling like an absolute jerk for not helping my incredibly upset friend, I was crying myself. Laurent was right, I was an idiotic little girl who drove my future soul mate to school every morning and refused to admit that I loved him.

_**A/N: **__Just because there is another chapter you can go to directly following this one doesn't mean you shouldn't review. Shout out to wolverinacullen and Liyorah who have read and reviewed all my chapters so far. Make sure you have a read of their stories, they're awesome!_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: **__Aren't you glad I didn't leave you hanging after chapter four?_

**Chapter Five**

_~ I could tell you _

_His favourite colour's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful_

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him_

_I'd lie ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

I rang James on Saturday and got Renee Swan who told me, her voice sounding tired and worried, that James hadn't come home last night.

Panic had swept through me at her words and I said good bye, hung and then instantly dialed the police station. Charlie Swan had confirmed Renee's story and said that he was just about to go out looking. I said that I wanted to come but Charlie told me, very firmly, that the best thing I could do was to stay at home in case James rang me. Before he hung up Chief Swan said, with tears in his voice, "If anything's happened to my boy I'll never forgive myself"

I hung up, ran into the bathroom and spent the next five minutes dry retching. My mother came in to see what was the matter and I told her that James was missing and that it was all my fault. My mother had told me not to be so stupid and had asked why I thought that.

"Yesterday, when we were over here doing homework together, he got really upset and said that he should be going home. I let him go, mother, I let him go! He was so upset, I should have made him stay or at least driven him home! I..." I couldn't go on and my mother swept me into her arms.

"Victoria, darling, listen to me" my mother said gently "James will be perfectly alright, he might have gone to a friend's place for the evening, or he may have just decided to get out of town for a few days. He's an adult who can look after himself. If something has happened to him it will be a terrible tradgety, Victoria, but not your fault"

But I couldn't ignore the awful, nagging feeling in my stomach that, if I was a good friend, I would have done something. Anything! I should have insisted on driving him home, he'd been so upset...

What had made him upset? I thought back to yesterday. We'd been talking about Laurent and James had gone on a rant about my friend and mentioned that Laurent would probably end up in jail one day 'just like mum'! Renee had been in jail once and, when James mentioned it he'd gotten really upset. It wasn't much, but it was something...

I rang Chief Swan and told him what had happened and, after several explosive swear words he said, "I guess that makes sense, it was tough on the kid. Thank-you, Victoria" and then hung up.

I sat by the phone all morning. Mum tried to tempt me with breakfast but I just couldn't eat, I felt sick with worry for James and all sorts of horrid scenarios kept playing through my head.

Mum all but force fed me at ten o'clock when she threatened to unplug the phone if I didn't eat something. I made myself two slices of toast and managed to spread jam on them and went to eat them by the phone.

At midday the doorbell rang.

"JAMES!" I shrieked, leaping to my feet and flying to the front door, mum close behind me. But it wasn't James.

"Laurent," I said to my friend, staring at him. He'd been smoking recently, he stank of marijuana. In fact, forget the smoking, he looked like he'd woken up, had a smoke and then come straight over to see me. His dreadlocks were rumpled, he hadn't shaved yet and he was wearing yesterday's clothes. But the look on his face made all that insignificant; his eyes were clouded with concern for me and, to my surprise, a fierce protectiveness that I'd never noticed before. My bottom lip started to tremble.

"Victoria come here" he said, stepping forward and putting his arms around me. He held me tightly to his chest and I broke down in tears.

"It's all my fault!" I wailed while Laurent stroked my hair. "It's all my fault, Laurent! What if something terrible happens to him? What if it does? It'll be all my..." I couldn't continue. The idea of something terrible happening to James was too horrible to consider.

"Shh, shh" Laurent hushed me gently, still stroking my hair while we stood in the doorway. "It's not your fault. You didn't make him go missing. Shh, clam down now so I can close the door"

I couldn't calm down and Laurent was unwilling to let go of me either. We stood awkwardly for a moment until my mother said "Victoria; take a few deep breaths, honey. I just need to close the door and then you and Laurent can go and talk in the lounge room"

I knew immediately that, while I'd been eating my toast, my mum had been through my phone and probably called a few people to see who could come over. Funny, in a strange way, that my drifting, pot-smoking, homeless, unemployed friend would be the person who dropped everything to come rushing to my aid. I'd never thought of Laurent as that kind of person before.

I managed to stop sobbing - but I was nowhere near finished - for a few moments and Laurent took my hand. We walked inside the door a little and my mother closed it behind us.

"I'll be upstairs in my room should you need me" my mother said and Laurent nodded. "Thank you, Mrs. Sutherland", he was talking about more than just closing the door and giving us some time alone.

I started crying again the moment Laurent and I were seated on the couch on the lounge room. He pulled me into his lap and made gentle hushing noises and rocked me slightly while I wept into his shoulder. On another day I would have never let him sit on the couch. The only places he was, strictly speaking, allowed to sit were the floor and the chairs in the dining room; the reason was because the dope smell clung to the fabric like you wouldn't believe and I could get it out of the house much easier if I didn't have to soak the couch with bleach. But today I didn't care and it appeared that my mum didn't care either because there was no way she'd missed the smell coming off my friend. They'd never met - for obvious reasons - and he probably hadn't been what she was expecting.

To an observer my position on Laurent's lap might look romantic, but, to the pair of us, it was everything but. We were friends, best friends. The term sounds childish but it was the only term I could really use to describe my relationship with Laurent. James was my closest friend, but I was so in love with him that 'best friend' didn't seem the right term to describe him; words such as 'world' and 'heart's desire' seemed more appropriate.

"Calm down, Victoria," Laurent soothed, rocking me slightly. "You need to stop crying. Crying won't help James."

No, he was right, it wouldn't; wherever James was, he needed me to be strong, so I would do that. However, that was easier said than done. By the time I'd mastered my tears, my throat felt like four o'clock in the Death Valley in the middle of June, my face was puffy and my eyes were red and swollen.

"Laurent," I croaked, "Can I have some water, please?"

"Of course," he said to me. I slid off his lap and he went over to the fridge and poured me a glass of cold water. I gulped it down and he went to get me another.

"He likes green," I said to Laurent when he was pouring me my third glass of water.

My friend turned to stare at me, one eyebrow raised, "Beg yours?"

"James," I said, as if it was obvious. "James likes the colour green."

Laurent nodded at me, looking as if I'd just told him that James was an alien from Jupiter with seven heads.

"He argues a lot," I went on, not sure why I was telling Laurent this, but wanting to say it anyway, "and he was born on the 17th of March 1987, making him six months, six days older than me. I don't know if you've seen Bella, or, _Isa_bella is her real name, but everyone just calls her Bella; she's really beautiful, takes after her dad, dark hair, pale skin, shy disposition, but she's got her mum's eyes, they're a chocolate colour. Her boyfriend is Edward Cullen and he's a possessive asshole, James said once that he would like to cut Edward's balls off and make him eat them, but Bella won't dump him. James takes after Renee, except he's got Charlie's eyes, light blue. But they change colour a lot, he's got a different eye colour for every mood he's in. He started playing acoustic guitar when he was six and hasn't stopped since and..."

"You're in love with him," Laurent interrupted me and I flinched.

"No!" I said, far too quickly. "I'm just..."

"Victoria, admit it, you're addicted to him! If you were me, he'd be the weed you smoked even though you knew it was destroying your lungs and wrecking your heart; and if he ever heard I said that he'd probably kill me, but I don't care. I can see it, Vicki, there's nothing wrong with being in love."

"Unless you love a blonde, Russian slut," I told him and he chuckled darkly.

"Admittedly, I could do better, but we are not talking about my love life, Victoria. We are talking about yours."

"There is no love life, Laurent," I told my friend, getting up from the couch. "None! Alright? I don't even know why I told you those things and... Why are we talking about this, anyway? James is still missing! He could be dead for all we know and...!"

"He's not dead," Laurent voice was cool and firm. "He's not dead. If you believe nothing else, Victoria, believe that."

"How do you know that?" I demanded of my friend. "How can you possible know that?"

"I don't," Laurent said, his voice still cool and firm. "But I do know that people don't just disappear, Victoria, other people loose faith and stop looking for them."

There was something profound about Laurent's statement and I stood staring at him for a good minute. He stared back at me and, as I had done numerous times since meeting him, I marveled at the way a homeless, jobless man who was addicted to marijuana and had a limited education could use words so profoundly. It was acctually a little bit scary because, if my father was to be believed, skills like that needed to be learned and perfected and, as my father liked to constantly remind me, only a good college education could do that.

My father had obviously never met a man like Laurent.

That minute I stared at him seemed to go on forever. His words hung thick between us, his strange belief that something as insignificant as believing someone was alive could keep them so. The air seemed to slip out of the room until the only thing in the space between me and him was those words: _people don't just disappear, Victoria, other people loose faith and stop looking for them._

If Laurent could believe that James was alive then surely...

The phone rang and the moment was gone. The world snapped back into focus, the air rushed back into the room and his words were, once again, just words. There was nothing special about them.

Laurent, who was closest to the phone, reached down and picked it up.

"Hello, Sutherland residence? Yes, she's right here."

He handed me the phone and I took it, my heart thumping in my chest.

"Hello, Victoria Sutherland speaking"

Please God, I prayed, let it be James, let it be James, let it be...

"Victoria," Bella sounded tired, frightened and her voice was tight, as if she'd been crying, "we've found him."

_**A/N: **__Sorry about the cliffy, chapters six and seven will be up today but, as I mentioned in the notes for chapter four, I needed to do an edit because I accidently left something out. A review would brighten my day and might make my headache go away!_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: **__First of all, a massive apology to Liyorah, wolverinacullen and any lurkers who may read but don't review. I know I promised you guys four chapters, but I didn't realise how long my edit was going to take me. I will post chapter seven tomorrow and, also, chapter eight as my huge apology to all of you. I am so sorry._

**Chapter Six**

_~ He stands there, then walks away_

_My God, if I could only say_

_I'm holding every breath for you ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

I hated hospitals. I had entered one only once in my life, aside from being born, of course, after I had a nasty reaction to a mumps immunization when I was very young. The sterilized smell of the place and the doctors in white coats who poked and prodded me again and again and again with strange instruments had terrified me and, when I'd come out of the hospital, I'd vowed I was never setting foot in one again.

But, for James, I would do anything.

I walked down the corridors, ignoring the nurses and doctors who rushed by on their way to attend to certain patients. I got to ICU, where James was, and walked up to the desk.

"Can I help you?" the duty nurse asked me. She looked about twenty seven with caramel coloured hair tied back in a pony tail and wearing a name badge that read 'Esme'.

Esme: the wife of Dr. Cullen and the mother of dickhead extraordinaire. I'd forgotten that she was a nurse, so she would know who I was and, probably, who I wanted to see. But I told her anyway.

"Yes, I'm here to see James Witherdale," I said and she smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry, Victoria, we're only letting family in at this point. The poor boy's not well and too many visitors would be detrimental to his condition."

I could tell that Esme was genuinely sorry for having to refuse me entry, but this was _James_ I was talking about. James who had held my hand when we walked in together on our first day of pre-school, James who had hit Emmett Cullen, Edward's older brother, for pulling my hair in second grade. James who had let me copy his biology assignment and then lied to Mr. Molina by saying that he had been the one to copy my work and had saved me from detention. James who laughed at my bad jokes, listened sympathetically to my rants about my teachers and would do anything for me! Well, it went both ways, I would do anything for him and come hell, high water or hospital security I was getting in to see my friend!

"Esme, as far as James and I are concerned, we _are _family, so if you would please..."

"Victoria, I know this must be distressing for you. But I really can't let you in to see..."

"Oh for God's sake, Esme!" the snap made both Esme and I jump as Renee Swan came strolling down the corridor. I'd seen Renee look several different ways; I'd seen her angry, worried, frustrated, happy, very upset and once I'd even seen her drunk! But never, in all my years of knowing her, I had never seen her look like this. Her hair was a mess, her eyes blood shot from crying and her face puffy and swollen from tear stains. Her chocolate eyes were filled with moisture, she was shaking badly and her hands were balled into fists. I had the sudden, irrational fear that she might hit me.

"James has been asking for Victoria since he woke up! I know you're just doing your job but, really, this is going too far!"

Esme cowered under Renee's wrath before Renee grabbed my arm and dragged me down the corridor and into ward two. Ward two was long and rectangular, with several empty beds in it, if I hadn't seen James in a bed at the end propped up by pillows, I might have been able to count how many patients the ward could hold. As it was, it took all my self control not to sprint down the ward and fling my arms around him. The sight of him alive, however, _did _bring happy tears to my eyes.

"Victoria," he croaked as Renee and I came nearer, "you're here. Here at last."

He sounded awful.

The moment I was at his bedside and Renee had released my arm, I grasped James' hand in my own and was startled to see how cold it was. He grinned, "Kind of like being the living dead, eh Vicki?" and then he coughed a deep, hacking cough.

"James..." I didn't know what to say. He looked so weak, so frail lying in the hospital bed with his cold hand gripped in mine. He grinned again, how could he still grin?

"That's my name," he said and then he coughed again, he sounded as if he had something in his lungs. James cleared his throat slightly before he said to his family, "I'd like a few moments with Victoria, alone."

"James, I hardly think that's..." began Charlie but Renee glared at him and they walked out of the ward. I saw Bella gave her brother a long, searching look before she too followed her parents out.

"James what, what happened to you?" I asked as soon as we were alone, sitting down next to my friend's bedside and James grinned morbidly at me.

"Crashed the car when I was driving back from your place," he said and I nearly had a heart attack on the spot!

"You had a car crash!"

James nodded and then coughed again before going on, "I was going a little bit too fast around a corner and lost control. I hit a tree and blacked out for a bit before coming round. When I did come to, I was disorientated and wandered off into the forest."

I should have done something, I thought, savagely berating myself. I should have driven him home myself!

"So, you were out in the woods all night? Alone!" I was horrified. Anything could have happened to him while he was out there! Anything!

James chuckled and then made a face as he coughed again. I failed to find anything funny in the situation.

"I'm a big boy, Victoria," he told me. "I'm not scared of the dark, you know"

"You would have been freezing!" I persisted and he nodded, "That's why I'm in hospital, hypothermia."

I took a breath and let it out, I felt that James was being very flippant about all this. I'd spent a whole night and half a day worrying about him, only to come and see him in the hospital and see that he was acting...

Perfectly ordinary.

I suddenly felt like laughing at myself. I was an idiot. I would have been the last person James would have been thinking about while he was lost, cold and alone in the woods all night. He was hardly going to have had a magical epiphany in which he suddenly realised that I loved him while he'd been out there freezing to death.

"Sorry," I apologized and James shook his head. "I was just so worried about you," I continued, "for all I knew you were dead, James! Dead! You left my house so upset and..."

James' hand tightened around mine and he interrupted, "Victoria, that's the reason I wanted to see you in here alone. I wanted to talk to you about what I said yesterday."

James took a deep breath, paused and then said, "Do you remember, when we were eight, that time Bella and I just vanished for about a week?"

I nodded, remembering the five days of hell I'd endured at school without him and he went on, "Well, we were down in Florida, staying with Grandma Dwyer. You see, mum used to have, well, something of a drinking problem and, one night, when she was really drunk, she said to Bella, 'You know what, Isabella, I think you're going to be a real slut when you grow up, just like your mother', and then mum full on attacked her! Dad intervened and called Grandma Dwyer in Florida and she was on a plane to get us that night. We went to Florida for the week while dad had mum charged with assault and all that shit. Grandma Dwyer was absolutely horrified that her daughter had attacked her own children and, when dad came to get us to take us back to Forks, she was reluctant to let us go. She still doesn't talk to mum, you know. Anyway, we came back up to Forks with dad and testified that mum had attacked us and she was sentenced to three months jail for assault. For the first month she was inside it was, well, it was like heaven!"

James face took on an odd glow and I felt a little uncomfortable. I couldn't imagine it being like heaven if _my_ mother was in jail for three months, but, then again, I didn't live in the Swan household.

"There was no fighting, no anger, nothing! Dad took me and Bella to the movies, to the park, we played baseball, got ice-cream... It sound trivial, V, but you have no idea how much it meant to me to be able to go somewhere and not have to worry about my parents fighting. It was just..." James paused then and I realised that the sad part was coming.

"After the first month or so, it dawned on me what had really happened, that my mum had actually tried to hurt my sister and said that Bella was going to be a slut when she got older. I'd always looked out for Bella but, this time, the one thing that was really hurting her wasn't some idiot at school pulling her hair or being called ugly by Rosalie Hale. It was out own _mother_ and I couldn't protect her from that..."

James stopped and his eyes filled with tears and he swallowed a few times and, impulsively, before I could stop myself, I threw my arms around him.

Right then and there, with my lips close to his ear I nearly said it, I nearly whispered 'I love you, James Charles Swan'. Then he pulled back and the moment was lost.

"Whoa, Victoria," he said, his hands up in the air as if in surrender, his face wearing a half incredulous, half embarrassed expression. "No chick-flick moments, alright?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling myself blush. "Yeah, right, um, sorry, James."

He shrugged, "No lasting damage done" and then coughed again before saying, "I just felt I owed you an explanation for why I took off so suddenly yesterday, you needed to know that it wasn't your fault."

I nodded and James yawned and I said "Thanks, I'll, I'll go and let you sleep now, OK?"

James nodded, suppressing another yawn, "Sounds good, V. Hey, will you come and see me tomorrow?"

"Of course." I forced a smile and James smiled sleepily back at me before closing his eyes.

As I left I didn't even say goodbye to the Swans, pushing roughly past them and damning them to the depths of hell and beyond for causing all this misery in James' life. I got to my car and, once I was safely enclosed in the warm, leathery interior, I broke down in sobs over my steering wheel. Why, _why _did I not tell James I loved him? What was holding me back?

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I reached Laurent and pressed the 'Call' button. He picked up on the second ring.

"How'd it go at the hospital?" he asked and I managed to stifle a sob before saying, "Will you meet me at the oval? I need to talk to you."

_**A/N: **__I can't say I'm sorry enough times, but, if you're not too angry with me, a review would still be nice. Just so I know you're still enjoying this story._


	7. Chapter 7: The Ace

_**A/N: **__Hello readers! I know I don't usually update on a Tuesday, but I was supposed to publish this chapter yesterday, but the edit took longer than I was expecting. This is the penultimate chapter, one more to go after this. Special thanks to wolverinacullen for, inadvertently, giving me the idea to title this chapter. Hopefully you all understand the title and, sit back and, as always, no reviews=no chapters until I get some, so review!_

**Chapter Seven: The Ace**

_~ He'd never tell you_

_But he can play guitar_

_I think he can see through everything but my heart_

_First thought when I wake up is_

_My God he's beautiful_

_So I put on my make up_

_And pray for a miracle ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

**Laurent POV**

I had never been to a hospital before.

There were two reasons for that: the first being that I couldn't afford it, and the second being that I had never hurt myself seriously enough to be admitted into hospital. Or, no, that wasn't exactly true. The real reason I had never been to a hospital, since I'd let home, at least, was because I was afraid that they might do some kind of blood test and find weed in my system. I didn't know if the doctors had a legal obligation to notify the cops or not and I'd rather stay in the dark about that one and never find out.

But that, I knew, was a time bomb.

Despite what a lot of people thought of me, I wasn't stupid. I knew what the pot was doing to my head, heart and lungs, but the high... well, that made it all worthwhile.

The thing about drugs, and any addict will tell you this, is that giving them up means giving up all the good stuff too; it also meant unpleasant withdrawal symptoms and cravings that are hard to deal with. So, on the balance of positives vs. negatives, I would take the positives of the high and forget about the negatives to my health.

Forget about the negatives, who was I kidding? Twice this year I'd had very nasty chest pains (and told myself that I was fine and that the pain was not a warning sign of a heart attack or a stroke), I hadn't had a good night's sleep since before I started smoking (stress, I always told myself, and the inevitable product of having to sleep rough at least twice a week), two weeks ago, I vowed and declared that I'd heard my grandfather talking to me while I scoured around for something I could use as a blanket (I'd been, tired, that was all. I was NOT hallucinating!) and not to mention the breathing difficulties (I had no excuse for those, they could only be caused by my smoking).

I was killing myself slowly and I knew it, it was just a matter of what came first: heart failure, mental breakdown or lung cancer. But I wouldn't stop, marijuana was my net, my safety, it had been the only stable thing in my life since my parents had gone back to France when my grandfather got sick. Of course, they hadn't just up and left me, I'd known they were going and I was staying with an elderly friend of my mother's. My parents enjoyed being back in France a little too much and they'd called and asked me if I wanted to come back to France, I'd said I didn't so arrangements were made for me to stay with my mother's friend until I finished school. That was the year I was first introduced to marijuana.

I smoked it casually for a while, without telling anybody, and then I got into it more heavily when my mother's friend died. Funnily enough, while there was the funeral and all sorts, I never actually told my parents. If they wanted to stay in bloody France then they could! I didn't care!

Funnily enough, even though my life went downhill from there, I never once regretted anything and, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing! I hadn't spoken to my parents in years and I liked it like that.

But I wasn't here to muse about my addiction or my almost non-existent family situation, I was here to straighten out dimwit of the century James Swan and then bang his and Victoria's heads together a few times. God knew they needed it!

I asked politely at the front desk where James Swan was and I was directed up to ward five, which was a regular wing of the hospital. Victoria had told me that he'd been moved from ICU yesterday and was going to be kept in a regular wing of a hospital for tonight for observation before going home tomorrow.

I walked along until I got to ward five and entered. The ward was basically a long corridor with beds on either side of it. Most of them were empty - the people of Forks, Washington seemed to be immune to all forks of sickness - but there were a few people in the ward. I was looking for James, but he saw me first.

"Oh god!" I heard his familiar voice and I looked towards the back of the ward where I saw him. He didn't look happy to see me.

"No," I said, strolling down the ward towards his bed. "Not God, just me."

He glared at me and I smiled politely at him.

"What do you want?" he asked rudely and I sighed, I'd hoped he might have the good grace to be civil.

"I have a question to ask you." I said and he raised an eyebrow, "Well then, ask. Then get out, you stink like pot! The nurses will be in here in a moment asking if I've been smoking the damn stuff!"

"Are you stupid?" I queried and I had the satisfaction of watching his jaw drop.

"_Excuse me_?"

"Are you stupid?" I repeated and he goggled at me for a moment before saying, his expression turning very hostile, "No. No I am not stupid!"

"Oh," I said, acting surprised, "it's just that you tend to act that way. Epically when it comes to Victoria"

"You know nothing about me and Victoria," he said scathingly and I rolled my eyes.

"I know an _awful _lot about you and Victoria. A lot of it I don't want to know, but I know it. Unfortunately, once you know something, you cannot _un_-know it and..."

"Is this going anywhere?" James interrupted in a voice that was half bored, half angry and I sighed again, he was acting like a bratty, spoiled child and I knew he was everything but!

"You play guitar," I told him and I think he nearly had a heart attack on the spot!

"How do you know that?" he demanded, once he had sufficiently recovered from his almost heart attack.

"Victoria told me," I said and James looked ready to have another heart attack.

"How does _she _know that?"

"She," I chastised him, "is the cat's mother. Victoria knows that because she knows everything about you, James Henry Swan. That's what I was alluding to previously, once you know something you cannot un-know it, meaning that Victoria is stuck mooning over all the silly little things she knows about you and you are too dim to even see it!"

I didn't mean to snap or sound harsh, but I felt protective of Victoria, she was the little sister I never got to have an this, this _dimwit_ sitting here in this hospital bed had no idea how much she loved him!

James sat frozen for a moment before spluttering "Victoria, Victoria knows things, about, about me?"

"Victoria knows _everything _about you! Everything! She probably knows you better than you know yourself!"

"How?"

"Because she's in love with you, you idiot! She's been in love with you for years! You're just too wrapped up in your own tragic life to care!"

He looked flabbergasted.

"Victoria, is in love with, me?" he squeaked and I nodded once and then he started laughing. "No," he said. "No, she's not. She can't be, I would have noticed, I mean..."

James hesitated and I sighed. Where was Victoria when I needed her? Of course, the only reason I needed her here now was so I could bang her's and James' heads together ea few times, but still...

"Look, I really need a smoke," I told him and the slightly hostile look returned. "So, I'm leaving, and you can deny it all you want, but she loves you. She thinks about you 24/7/365 and you should have seen her when you were missing."

James blanched and I gave him a brief nod and walked towards the end of the ward.

"Laurent! Hey, Laurent, wait! Wait!"

I turned back and raised an eyebrow at him. He was looking at me with a desperate, pleading expression.

"I need a smoke," I told him and went to continue walking but he stopped me in my tracks when he said, "But I love her too! I always have! So, so I would have known if she loved me!"

I took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Jesus Christ, I needed a smoke! And I needed to kill someone too, preferably the two idiots who had spent their lives thinking the other didn't love them when, in fact, they were head over heels for each other! I took another deep breath.

"I'm going to kill you," I said, thinking about my smoke as I said it. "Both of you, and you deserve it to!"

"What?" James sounded rather confused and I turned to face him.

"Call Victoria and ask her if she's in love with you, idiot," I half snapped. "If she says no, she's a liar."

I strolled out of the ward and heard James dialling Victoria's number.

Outside the hospital I leaned against the building and fished one of my marijuana cigarettes from my coat pocket and lit up. I had just inhaled the sweet, pungent scent of my drug when I heard my message alert go off. I held the cigarette in-between my teeth and fished through my pocket for my phone, pulling it out and unlocking it I saw I had one new text message. I opened it and saw that it was from a number I was unfamiliar with, but I realized who it was when I read the message: _I am such a fucking idiot!_

I laughed, put my phone away and took another long pull on my smoke.

_**A/N: **__This was actually my favourite chapter to write, creating Laurent's character was fun and giving a major role to a marijuana addict was a very different writing experience for me. As always, review and, also, the poll on my profile is important if you guys ever want to read chapter eight. I don't like how it is at the moment and I want your help to finish off the story. I'll be looking at the votes on Friday AEST to see what you all think, if I get the votes the next chapter will be up, as usual, on Monday._


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: **__First of all, HUGE apologies to my readers for being TWO WEEKS LATE with this chapter. I am a horrible author! My excuse? Remember my poll? I hadn't counted on getting equal votes! 50% of my voter wanted Laurent killed off and 50% wanted him to live! So I had to rewrite most of the chapter again to try and accommodate both requests and keep all my readers happy! I hope I've done the best job I can on that. Or, maybe I'm just dragging my feet because I knew this was the last chapter. Oh well, it's here now, so read and enjoy._

**Chapter Eight**

_~ Yes I could tell you_

_His favourite colour's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Oh, and it kills me_

_His sister's beautiful_

_He has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him..._

_If you asked me if I love him... ~_

I'd Lie _by Taylor Swift_

_Four years later_

My mum was pretending that she wasn't crying as she gave me a gentle hug.

"Oh, Vicki!" she almost blubbered, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. "I'm sure it was only yesterday you were a tiny baby in my arms! How is it that time goes so fast?"

"Mum," I said, embarrassed, "cut it out."

"And now you're a college graduate and getting married and... oh!" she burst into tears.

"There now, Beth," dad said, patting mum awkwardly on the back. "Vicki's only getting married. She's not running off somewhere we'll never see her again. Calm down now."

It took mum a while to calm down. When she did, dad quickly ushered her outside before she could have another breakdown. He came back in and smiled at me.

"Your mother's right you know, Victoria," he said. "You have grown up fast."

"Oh no!" I said, staring at my father with barely concealed horror. "Dad! Not you too!"

"Relax, honey," he said, giving me a brief hug. "James will think you've got cold feet if you walk down the aisle looking stressed."

Cold feet. As if I could get cold feet. I'd been imagining this day for God didn't even know how long! Those imaginings had begun to turn from wishful fantasies into serious thoughts four years ago, when I received a call from a then hospitalized James. He'd been agitated and, despite the fact that he could barely string two words together at the time, it had been the best conversation I'd had with him in my life!

_My phone rung loudly and rudely, waking me up from where I'd fallen asleep over my Maths homework._

_"Hello?" I asked grumpily, not bothering the check the caller I.D._

_"Tori!" James' voice was a very urgent half-shout which woke me up immediately._

_"James! What's wrong? What's happened? Is it Bella?" The only thing I could think of that would make James so panicked would be if something happened to his precious little sister. What had that jackass Cullen done to her? I'd skin him alive myself if..._

_"What, Bella, no, no," his voice was distracted, confused. "Bella's, well, she's fine. She's at home. No, not Bella. It's, you see, Vicki, when I was here, well, I still am, but, in the hospital, Laurent, he came to see me and..."_

_"_Laurent_?" I interrupted, unable to believe that Laurent would go within ten feet of James by his own violation. "What the hell did he want?" _

_"He wanted, he said, he told me to ask you something," James said._

_"Well, as then, dimwit," I said playfully, wondering why Laurent couldn't just give me the message himself. Seriously, sometimes that guy could be weirder than weird._

_"Laurent said to ask you if you love me and that if you tell me no you're lying," James said, without pausing for breath. "Which is really weird because, considering I've been in love with you since we were little kids, I think I would have known if you were..."_

_"James," I interrupted, my voice unable to rise above a whisper. "James, what did you just say?"_

_"That Laurent said..."_

_"No! Not that part, the second part," my throat felt constricted. Had he just said...?_

_"I love you," he stated bluntly. "I have for ages, since we were little kids."_

_"I love you," I told him, feeling like my heart might sprout wings and fly free of my chest. To my surprise, he starting howling with laughter, as if my declaration of love was funny._

_"Oh man, Vicki, we sound like a bad soap opera!"_

_I had to laugh at that._

_"Oh, by the way," he said, "could you give me Laurent's number? I need to thank him, you know."_

_"Sure," I said and I said the number twice while James programmed it into his phone._

_"So, when I Get out of the hospital tomorrow," he said mischievously, "do you want to go out for coffee?"_

_"Hell, yes!" I said and we hung up. I jumped into the air and whooped loudly._

_"MUM!" I screamed. racing through the house. "MUM! I'm going on a date with JAMES!"_

Four years ago I'd been excited about going on a date. Now I was waiting for my father to escort me down the aisle so I could marry that same man.

In our four years together, James and I had only broken up once. It had taken a month before we realised how stupid we'd been and got back together. My ex-boyfriend, Riley, had stalked me for a few months after I got back together with James but, when he found out that James was the son of a cop, he disappeared. I was thankful that I never saw him again.

"Ready, sweetheart?" my father asked and I nodded and took his proffered arm. I could feel tears glistening in my eyes as I thought about what was about to happen. I was really about to become Mrs. Witherdale. For a moment I thought of my grade three diary that I had kept under my pillow every night. Scribbled on every page was 'Mrs. Victoria Witherdale' in my messy, childish scrawl. I fought off the urge to giggle insanely as I heard the bridal march begin.

As I walked down the aisle, my hand on my father's arm, I had the strange sensation that I was walking through a sea of blurry, half-familiar faces. Nothing seemed real. Until I saw James at the end of the isle. Everything about him, from his dirty blonde hair to the shiny toes of his new shoes - which I had a feeling Renee had forced him into - was perfect. He looked like an angel, albeit a very mischievous angel, and I felt like giggling again. What had I ever done to deserve such a wonderful man?

The service itself was a simple thing. Traditional wedding vows to appease both parents. As I said 'I do' I looked around at the assembled guests.

Sitting in the front row were mine and James' parents. My parents, happily married for over twenty years, sat smiling and holding hands, my mother dabbing her face with a tissue. Charlie and Renee were there too. They'd finally separated two years ago after Bella attempted suicide again. Her note, found by Charlie, said she didn't want to live if her parents hated each other. It had been the wakeup call Charlie and Renee had needed to seriously re-evaluate their relationship. It hadn't taken much re-evaluating for them to decide that it wasn't working and the current situation was bad for their children. They'd split up and James and Bella hadn't been the only ones to breathe a sigh of relief. The whole of Forks had nodded in approval and watched as both went their separate ways. Renee had moved down to Florida and had met and married a minor league baseball player named Phil Dwyer. He was several years younger than she was, but he seemed to like her. Charlie had stayed in Forks and was currently in a serious relationship with Sue Clearwater, the widow of one of Charlie's close friends.

Another separation that had been for the best had been Bella and Edward. When Bella had, once again, attempted suicide, Edward hadn't come to the hospital _once _to see her. James, Charlie and Renee had called him, sent him messages and even gone around to his house to see what was keeping him from the hospital. He hadn't answered his phone, replied to messages or come to the door and, eventually, the Swans just gave up on him. To their great surprise, he had waltzed back into Bella's life as soon as she was released from hospital with some bullshit explanation as to why he couldn't see her in hospital. Bella, showing some of her natural feminine superiority for the first time in her life, had thrown a drink in his face. Shocked, he'd asked what he'd done to deserve that and Bella had slapped him. Then she'd broken up with him.

As it happened, Bella went to Jacob and explained to him what she'd done. She'd confessed that she wasn't sure if she'd done the right thing and asked to stay with Jacob for a while. A call had been made to James to let him know that Bella was ok and was going to ground for a few days with Jacob to sort things out. The pair of them had emerged from their few days away as a steadfast couple. Edward had been pissed and, truth be told, I think everyone but Edward had liked it. Until he started stalking Bella. It had taken an IVO by Charlie and a serious beating by James to finally convince Edward that he and Bella were no more. Bella and Jacob were sitting in the front row next to Renee and Phil. Bella had decided that she wanted to spend some time away from Forks and she and Jacob had moved with Renee to Florida. As such, she had a better relationship with her step-father than James did, but James didn't mind.

There should have been someone else in the front row. Thinking about him brought tears to my eyes. Laurent; my patient, supportive and stupid, _stupid _friend. _He _should have been here today. But he wasn't. James and I were going to go and see him at the hospice after the wedding. Laurent had been diagnosed with lung cancer late last year. The doctors at the hospital said that, if he stopped smoking, there was something like a fifteen percent chance that they could stop the spread of the disease. A fifteen percent chance that he would live. Laurent had tried to give up the marijuana, I gave him credit for trying. The, one day, after a chemotherapy session he called me.

_"Victoria," the horrible thing about the voice on the other end was that, for a moment, I didn't recognize it. It was choked with tears and the harsh breathing of someone in hysterics. Then I realised._

_"Laurent? Oh my god! Laurent, what's, what's wrong?" I realised that stupider words had never been said. Everything was wrong right now! My friend had cancer! Cancer! He had a fifteen percent chance of survival! _

_"I can't," he sobbed into the phone. "I can't. I can't. I can't."_

_"What? What can't you do?" I knew I sounded desperate, but, in truth, I was. In all the time I'd known him, Laurent had never _ever _cried. Now he was on the other end of the phone bawling his eyes out! _

_"I need it," he wept. "I don't give a fuck if I die, but I _need it_!"_

_It didn't take me long to work out what he was talking about._

_"Pot? Laurent! You're doing so well! You have a chance..."_

_"Fifteen fucking percent is not a chance, Victoria!" he shouted. "It's a lie! It's a fucking lie! I can't do this! I'm tried all the time, I don't even have the energy to eat or drink or walk down the street to get a paper! I don't want to die like this!"_

_"Laurent, please, talk sense!" I begged him. "This stuff, the giving up, the chemo, it's _good _for you!"_

_The tears hadn't gone from his voice when he said, "Sometimes it's not about what's good for you."_

_He hung up and I spent the rest of the afternoon on his doorstep, banging on the doors and windows. Screaming abuse and curses at him as the smell of marijuana drifted under the door._

As soon as he started smoking again, there was nothing the doctors could do. I'd tried to reconcile myself with his death, but it was so hard. He'd been a part of my life for a long time. It felt like a part of _me _was dying. He'd been given six months since he started smoking again and had been moved into a hospice a week ago and given two weeks, at most, to live. He'd seemed strangely at peace when I'd visited him before I'd come here. He'd grinned at me from the bed he was all but confined to. He gave me his blessings and said it was a damn shame that he couldn't be there. He also gave me a message for James: _"Tell Witherdale that he better take good care of you or I'll come back from the other side and haunt his ass!"_. I'd promised to pass on a message and, impulsively, I'd given him a hug. He smelled funny; a strange combination of marijuana and the clean, crispness of the hospice. Somehow I known, when I left him, that he had hours. James and I would be at his side when he passed on, he was waiting for me.

I was brought back to reality by the minister intoning the words, "I now pronounce you husband and..."

Before he could finish, James grabbed me around the thighs and lifted me into the air. I gave a little yelp at the unexpectedness of it and mock glared at him.

"James Henry Witherdale!" I intoned crisply, the effect ruined by the sparkling in my eyes and the giggle in my voice. "Put me down immediately!"

"So, Victoria Sutherland," he said, grinning mischievously, "do you love me?"

I laughed. "Of course not!"

He chuckled. "Liar."

He brought my lips down to his and the rest of the world - my dying friend, my parents, my two sets of in-laws (wasn't I _lucky_?), and the perfect young couple in the front row - were driven from my mind. Nothing else matter except here and now. Here and now, James was kissing me. Here and now, I was kissing James.

"Um..." the minister seemed flabbergasted. "You may kiss the bride, I suppose. But you, already appear to be doing that..." his voice trailed off and I broke away from the kiss and wrapped my arms around James.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear.

"I know," he whispered back.

_~ I'd Lie ~_

**The End**

_**A/N: **__I want to take this moment to give a thank-you to everyone who read and a very special thank-you to __**Liyorah**__ and __**wolverinacullen**__ for faithfully reading and reviewing every single chapter of this story. These two ladies gave me the motivation to keep writing and I want to take a moment to direct you to some of their fabulous stories, hopefully you ladies don't mind and, to all other readers, these stories are well worth checking out:_

_**Liyorah: **_

The Reason Why (.net/s/5125961/1/The_Reason_Why)

When I was Human (.net/s/4923173/1/When_I_was_Human)

_**wolverinacullen: **_

Victoria's Fairytale (.net/s/6006136/1/Victorias_Fairytale)

The Company of Misery (.net/s/5020713/1/The_Company_Of_Misery)


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